Wednesday, May 09, 2007


I thought I would have one flight that wasn't delayed for two hours (as my trip over to paris was) or struck by lightning (coming home from DC), or just... normal. Just one.

So when 7.5 hours of our 8 hour flight we by smoothly I thought I was in the clear. Then suddenly there is a loud metal crashing sound followed by screaming people. Crashing and screaming are maybe the last two sounds you want to hear on a plane... coming from france into nyc. So immediately everyone is aflutter and trying to determine what is going on, but, mind you, the flight attendants are woefully unawares. I was about 6 rows ahead of the hubbub and I could see that someone was hurt. Rather than someone going to get the flight attendants, no less than 10 people rang their call buttons. Repeatedly. And we were in a ghhhhhetto old plane where it rings in the entire plane every single time someone pushes it.

Now we have their attention.

As it turns out, one of the drink carts wasn't properly locked in place, and it proceeded to rapidly roll itself down the aisle, accumulating speed over 15 rows until it ended its course by colliding with a woman (maybe 70 years old) and her head, which was naively protruding into said aisle. You may be thinking, no, that doesn't happen, you're kidding. Yea, I kept trying to tell myself the same thing.

2 minutes later over the intercom... "Ladies and gentlemen, once again (when the first time was, I don't know), if there is a doctor on board, could you please ring your call bell (remind me again why he/she wouldn't just go directly to the woman with her head sliced open?). A doctor... or a medical professional. Thank you." No, thank you miss flight attendant for seriously making me question your IQ.

There was in fact a doctor. Who did in fact help.

Somehow we also managed in our final 25 minutes to hit every invisible pocket of air, inducing nausea and vomiting in many of the passengers. Mind you it was a cloudless, sunny day, making the situation all the more inexplicable. I was really close. Like reaching for the vomit bag close. My blossoming migraine didn't help the situation. As we landed the flight attendant came on again saying, "Ladies and gentlemen please sit tight just a minute while we wait for the paramedics to take care of our injured passenger."


And who knew that it would take an hour to get my luggage? Not me, because I NEVER check bags, but the one bottle of wine I had made it such that I either had to drink it in its entirety or check it. Special.
And who knew that a cab from Newark to Brooklyn would cost SEVENTY dollars?!??! PLUS TOLLS!! Needless to say, I was extremely happy to get back to my apartment. And watch the two hour episode of Grey's Anatomy that I couldn't watch on while in Paris because "Full-length episodes are only viewable to persons in the United States."


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