Wednesday, September 26, 2007

The Great Pizza Eating

So one day my coworker Kristy got pregnant. And then a few months later Kate announced that she knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that it was a girl. No, they hadn't found out the sex. Kate just KNEW. So, Jon being the competitive guy that he is thought to himself, "Well, it's really actually only a 50/50 bet, so, I'll take it." The terms of said bet were that upon being incorrect of the baby’s sex, a mutually agreed upon type and quantity of food would be consumed by the losing party in a time decided upon by the parties involved. In Kate’s case it was a large cheese pizza from Littly Italy, while in Jon’s it was 12 Nathan’s hotdogs with buns. Both were to be consumed in 20 minutes time. The ounceage of both selections was carefully measured so as to ensure an equally “weighted” competition.

Kate lost. I was with Jon when he received the call from her, and it was just absolutely priceless. Priceless.

The 20 minutes commenced at 6:13 PM last Thursday evening. Kate had decided that a viable strategy would be to remove the cheese from the slices, sandwich two slices, and eat the body of the pizza first. In order to maintain her focus and enthusiasm, at full volume she played such selections as the Rocky Theme Song, Eye of the Tiger, and Don’t Stop Believin. Todd (her teammate, who was also in the room) stated that his productivity in those 20 minutes was far greater than that of any other time in the day. This led me to believe that motivational music should be piped into the office one day a week to enhance performance. Mr. Giuliani will address these concerns further.

At twenty minutes (see pic below) Kate, though not having eaten the entire pizza, had made an impressive and valiant effort and the entire body of the pizza was consumed. What remained was the cheese of approximately 5 slices, as well as the crusts.

At that time it was decided upon by the judge (aka, me) that a time extension would be granted for the sake of finishing the pizza. As Kate had neither finished the entire pizza nor yodeled in the porcelain canyon, I felt it was appropriate to alter the terms in this way. In the ensuing 40 minutes, though greatly weighted and slowed down by 8 slices of pizza making their way through her gastrointestinal system, she pushed through with the gusto of any good Italian from Long Island. By the 50 minute mark (ie, the initial 20 minutes plus 30), she had consumed all of the crust and was left with the now cold pile of cheese.

At this point Jesse and Courtney had been admitted into the room for approximately 10 minutes and were aiding in the encouragement and sometimes kicking-in-the-butt to help Kate complete the task at hand. I extended the competition to 60 minutes, saying Kate had to finish the cheese in the remaining 10 minutes. I warmed the cheese so as to assist in the ease of delivery from the mouth to the stomach.

However, due to legitimate voiced concerns on the part of Kate over the physical harm that might result from consumption of the large vat of cheese, the event was ended at the one hour mark. All that remained was the cheese from approximately 4-5 pieces of pizza, in addition to a smiley face made from crust, which I had allowed to keep Kate motivated through the process. It was decided that Miss Russo’s showing was respectable and fitting of her upbringing as a lady, and I officially stated that she should receive an A for effort and enthusiasm, in addition to being a good sport with the heckling from the peanut gallery of the EA office in the days leading up to the pizza consumption.

Now the only problem is coming up with an even bigger and better wager for the next time we have a bet. Oh, and by the way, Kristy's baby was a boy. Nathanial is his name.

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