Tuesday, October 17, 2006

What I'm Learning

So there is much about life in the real world that is different from anything I've previously known. Much of it no one tells you before you get thrown into the mix. I think I might write a book called, "What You Should Know About the Real World that NO ONE TELLS YOU."
But I digress.
In the past few weeks there have been a (large) handful of instances that have really pounded home the idea that there are situations that will not only be entirely outside my control, but also in many cases will involve other people taking control and making a decision that affects me. Or not even people- just stuff that is literally unable to be controlled by me... and that just sucks. Or even just stuff that I DON'T KNOW ABOUT, that I have to figure out by making a mistake.

A few examples:
I was supposed to go to Penn to do recruiting for Easton, and I was honestly so excited and I have been looking forward to it and telling everyone I know. My teammate Susan told me yesterday that we're not going to be able to go anymore because that Monday (or Tuesday, the day after) are the two days out of our entire 10 week project when our client will be able to have the mid-project meeting, as they will be in town for a conference. So even if it's Tues, we need that Mon to prep for the presentation. So my tendency was to try to think of some way to make it work, to change, think outside the box, reschedule, come back early from Penn, etc. Just take it outside the box- there must be a solution, right? After all, I'm a solver and a doer, aren't I? Unfortunately, this box, as I'm finding is the case more often than I would like, has steel walls. And no amount of pouting or maneuvering will change it. It's life.
Or take the fact that when the heat is first turned on in our apartment building, the pipes clang. And we're not talking a little clicking noise. It basically sounds like someone is banging two metal pots 6 inches from your head. I mean, seriously??? So approximately once every 2 hours all through the night, in 10 minute intervals, we get to be jarred from our sleep. Short of sleeping somewhere else this week, that's just reality.
How about the fact that I didn't know that our antivirus software program has a feature that just stops sending out your emails when you send too many all at once. So that mail merge I sent last week to 50 plastic surgeons for interviews to which I had received NO RESPONSES... yeah, it just hadn't sent- even though each and every email was in my sent box. Nope, didn't send. How was I supposed to know that? As it happened, 7 days later, with us behind on interviews and me scrambling to try to catch us up, I happened to overhear a coworker talking about this feature and was then able to uncheck the little box. Sweet.

I want to fight it, I want to rework it, I want to change it, I want to FIGURE OUT A WAY. Because in nearly every situation in my lifeprior to now, I've been able to just "make it work." Or I've had all or most of the information I needed to make a reasonably well-educated decision. So that's not so true anymore. And I'm struggling to learn this and be at peace with it. There are many more instances I could cite with people, work, transitioning, and even day-to-day activities. But I think you get the point. And it's just something God will slowly but surely help me understand. This is life. I can't choose what happens to me, but I can choose how to respond. And where to derive my joy. And that is what gets me through and, for now, brings me peace amidst all the turmoil, frustration, and confusion.

No comments: