For some reason, yesterday at work we decided that the day's quotes were particularly amusing and spent a long email-thread exchanging our favorites. Here are some of the better ones I/we have seen lately. But really, the list could go on. And on and on.
Conductor: To the passenger in the first car transporting a ladder, please make sure you have control of your ladder, and please don't knock anybody in the noggin. To all other passengers riding in the first car, please be prepared to duck.
Man #1: What is going on here?
Man #2: They are filming the new Sex in the City movie with Sarah Jessica Parker. They have the entrance to the subway blocked off.
Man #1: Wonderful. I wouldn't even know what Sarah Jessica Parker looks like.
Woman nearby: Hi. I'm Sarah Jessica Parker.
Man #1: Nice to meet you. Can I go home now?
Sarah Jessica Parker: Sure, go ahead.
--Outside 6 train entrance
Lady: Excuse me, miss, could you move over a little?
Preggers: No, I'm pregnant. [Lady tries to squeeze in, pushing preggers.] If you push me again, I swear to God I'll give birth on your feet right here on this train. Then everyone will be mad at you 'cause you pissed off the pregnant woman and made them all late for work!
--PATH train, 33rd St
Middle-aged tourist: Aren't you a little young for that much caffeine, sweetie?
Teen: Uhhh, I'm from New York -- there was caffeine in my breast milk.
Middle-aged tourist: Oh! You're from here! Well... Could you give me directions to--
Teen: --Don't you people have maps for that kind of thing?
--Bread Factory, 785 Lexington
Haitian guy: Amen! Hallelujah!
Black girl: Jesus wanted us to get down with it.
Girl on cell: Yeah, I'm in New York City... Yeah, it's on the East coast, but it's not really on the East coast. It's not, like, next to water or anything.
And just remember, these things were said in public, in front of other people, and have now been put on the internet for all the wide surfing world to read. Ah New York, how I love thee and all thy quirky/bizarre/ridiculous ways.