Sunday, July 20, 2008

Danger! Napper Zone

Daytime naps are dangerous.  Don't get me wrong, they're also glorious, and I am a big fan of naps.  My college track record proves this.  Because it's kind of like saying, "My day is so free and open that I can just sleep while it's light out.  I have nothing so pressing that I need to do rather than sleep.  Don't you wish you could be that cool (lazy?)."  Kind of awesome.  I would say that one of the only "good" things that came out of my 7 months of mono was a lot of high-quality completely-excusable naps.  Because I was ALWAYS TIRED.  

But more often than not what you intend to be a 40 minute cat-nap turns into a 1.5+ marathon-nap.  And then you wake up mid-REM cycle and your body is all, "I'm sorry, I'm not ready to function right now, thank you and goodnight."  Only it's not night.  It's day.  Broad daylight.  But you're all confused and disoriented and you stumble around your bedroom like a drunkard as you try to wake up.  You know why? Because you're MORE tired than before your nap.  It's this bizarre scale where up to a certain point in the nap time you wake up refreshed and after some magic minute you fall off a steep cliff into the world of drowsy.  

Classic example of this: a few weeks ago after work I called my friend Wes to see if he was going to meet my for yoga and/or dinner afterward:
Wes: Hi Liz.
Me: Hey... are you ok? You sound a little weird.
Wes: Well... *yawn* I just woke up from a nap.  It was supposed to be 30 minutes.  But it turned into 90 minutes.  And I can't get out of bed now.  I'm really tired.  So I think yoga is out.
Me: Classic Wes, I love it.  You do know it's 6pm now and you'll never fall asleep tonight.
Wes: Oh no, I don't think I'll have any trouble falling back asleep, especially if I just stay in my bed the rest of the evening.  Which is really really tempting.  
Me: Well, good luck with that, have fun being a sloth while I go workout.
Wes: Yea... yea.  

Or have you ever taken a nap less than 3 hours after you got up that day?  Don't you even shake your head no, you liar.  You know, you get up at 11am on a Saturday, write a few emails, have some breakfast, maybe even go for a run, and then you get to about 2pm and it's that mid-afternoon slump when a nap just feels so RIGHT.  But then you think about how you only got up 3 hours ago and it gives you hesitation.  Does this take lazy to a new level?  No, you reason, it's perfectly acceptable.  If I just say so enough, it will make it so.

It's like the sleepiness overpowers your faculties of reason and logic.  In this state you convince yourself that it's ok just to lay your head back down, particularly if you haven't made your bed yet that day, it's just asking to be revisited.  All the rest of your commitments will just take care of themselves.  And you are there, immobile.  And in the moment it FEELS SO RIGHT.  In fact, all this talk of napping makes me want to go take one.  It's Sunday, 90+ degrees and humid, and it's not like I have a to-do list 3 Post-Its long.  No worries, I'll be unemployed in 3 days.  Plenty of time to catch up.  Right?

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